Today marks my eighth day of acupuncture school. And as I sit and reflect on the past week - I'm not sure how I feel about it. There are parts of me that are very excited about the possibilities and opportunities that exist in the future. Another part of me very much wants my old life back! I miss the familiarity, I miss the routine, I miss my family, friends and clients. AND more than anything I miss the love of my life!
I think some of this is just frustration. On Monday, Roger found out that he did not get the job we were hoping for here in Santa Fe. In fact the headhunter he has been working with, felt the need to share with him that the hiring manager, "Didn't like his personality and that they would rather leave the position open rather than make a bad hire". REALLY??? Was it necessary to share this hurtful information? What good was gained by any of it? I just don't get some people, sometimes! So now we sit and wait and pray! And know that it will all unfold in God's time.
The church that I have been attending here has been very supportive and have put Roger on their prayer chain. Pastor Carpenter said they would work on "praying him in", which I found so cool. Zia Methodist has been a source of great warmth and friendship. Pastor Kay has preached and preached at First Indianola about "Radical Hospitality", I'm starting to think that this phrase may just have been invented here in New Mexico. Nearly EVERYWHERE I have been people have a great ability with hospitality. It's amazing. So I guess for now...I just need to be! I need to relax into this new state of being for myself. I need to explore these feelings, frustrations and excitements and learn to embrace this moment. I used to have a sign on my treatment room wall that I need to revisit...It said, "Enjoy this Moment for this Moment is Your Life!"
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
Such a Little Life
After two days of class and multiple introductions and chances to tell our stories at acupuncture school....I'm wondering if I have lived a big enough life to be here. There are 15 people in my class, 10 of us are "starting from the start" the others have done some sort of acupuncture training in other states and will be taking classes to meet the requirements for New Mexico licensure. And they all have a varied and colorful past.
One young woman (I'm guessing still a teen) has lived most of her life in India and found acupuncture here "destiny" as she comes from a family of healers. She has spent most of her life being medically cared for by naturopathy and acupuncture - it is essentially her life.
Another student is a man I'm guessing to be in his 40s - lived in a Zen Temple in Japan for a number of years. He told me that he has always had a zen way of life and said that at four years old a family friend asked him to go hunting. His response to this friend, "I'm not supposed to kill anything in this lifetime." My question...how do you have this kind of direction at 4?
One of the women just finished Acupuncture school in New Jersey recently and opened her practice. Two weeks ago, she said she decided she wanted to move to Santa Fe and get licensed here. She's back in school to study the chinese herbs. IN 2 WEEKS TIME, SHE MADE THIS DECISION!!! WHAT!! She's very colorful! She's thinking of moving to a place about 45 miles away from Santa Fe, in the middle of nowhere!!!! Oh My Gosh - I can't imagine living in the wilderness as she is thinking about. There's coyotes out there - ya know!!!
And today, I visited with another young man in my class who is a chemist and has invented some sort of solvent that cyclists use. He's patented this solvent and it's on the market...an inventor no less. He's also a new father. His baby boy was at the school with him for awhile today is 9 weeks old and absolutely adorable! I asked the child's name and he said something like "Tasaki" - who is a Hindi Deity, who rides a tiger backwards, has 10 arms, 10 legs and carries swords to fight off his enemies. I tried to google this Deity - but couldn't quite figure it out!!!!
One woman state that the first half of her life, she was a "selective mute". Since that time she has lived in multiple cities, including New York and is a weaver, artist and grows her own food. She is happy to be back in New Mexico and is working the soil on her farm.
And this is just a small snapshot of my classmates - so I say, what have I done with my life? Yes, I served in the military and yes, I've been a massage therapist for many years and hope that I have touched a lot of lives with this work. But I don't feel nearly as interesting or colorful as some of these stories. I hadn't anticipated this part of the journey! And at the same time, I think all of this diversity is what makes the journey so powerful. I hope that where some of my classmates are light and airy, I can be the stabilizer; where they are intellectual, I can be the voice of reason and together we can be the Yin & Yang!
One young woman (I'm guessing still a teen) has lived most of her life in India and found acupuncture here "destiny" as she comes from a family of healers. She has spent most of her life being medically cared for by naturopathy and acupuncture - it is essentially her life.
Another student is a man I'm guessing to be in his 40s - lived in a Zen Temple in Japan for a number of years. He told me that he has always had a zen way of life and said that at four years old a family friend asked him to go hunting. His response to this friend, "I'm not supposed to kill anything in this lifetime." My question...how do you have this kind of direction at 4?
One of the women just finished Acupuncture school in New Jersey recently and opened her practice. Two weeks ago, she said she decided she wanted to move to Santa Fe and get licensed here. She's back in school to study the chinese herbs. IN 2 WEEKS TIME, SHE MADE THIS DECISION!!! WHAT!! She's very colorful! She's thinking of moving to a place about 45 miles away from Santa Fe, in the middle of nowhere!!!! Oh My Gosh - I can't imagine living in the wilderness as she is thinking about. There's coyotes out there - ya know!!!
And today, I visited with another young man in my class who is a chemist and has invented some sort of solvent that cyclists use. He's patented this solvent and it's on the market...an inventor no less. He's also a new father. His baby boy was at the school with him for awhile today is 9 weeks old and absolutely adorable! I asked the child's name and he said something like "Tasaki" - who is a Hindi Deity, who rides a tiger backwards, has 10 arms, 10 legs and carries swords to fight off his enemies. I tried to google this Deity - but couldn't quite figure it out!!!!
One woman state that the first half of her life, she was a "selective mute". Since that time she has lived in multiple cities, including New York and is a weaver, artist and grows her own food. She is happy to be back in New Mexico and is working the soil on her farm.
And this is just a small snapshot of my classmates - so I say, what have I done with my life? Yes, I served in the military and yes, I've been a massage therapist for many years and hope that I have touched a lot of lives with this work. But I don't feel nearly as interesting or colorful as some of these stories. I hadn't anticipated this part of the journey! And at the same time, I think all of this diversity is what makes the journey so powerful. I hope that where some of my classmates are light and airy, I can be the stabilizer; where they are intellectual, I can be the voice of reason and together we can be the Yin & Yang!
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Our God has a sense of humor!
Anyone who knows me, knows that I am not one to sit around on my laurels. I have always been on the go and busy. And now...life has changed drastically. Five weeks ago, I moved to Santa Fe, New Mexico to begin acupuncture school. I have had 5 weeks of nothing to do. Oh, don't get me wrong, I had an apartment to unpack, a new city to discover and all the amenities to locate - but essentially there was not a lot on my plate. In that time, I've learned to watch hummingbirds, greet the sun as it comes up over the Sangre de Christo Mountains and basically breathe. I think all of this is in preparation for the start of acupuncture school.
In 2 days, I will attend my first class at Southwest Acupuncture College. Lo' and behold - that very first class will be Tai Ji. Oh, I'm sure that God is sitting up there having a good laugh about this! How in the world did this happen? I've tried Tai Ji once before and thought I would go crazy! As I was learning before, I just kept thinking...'can we speed this up, I've got things to do!' AND I know that this is kind of defeating the purpose, so now I have the opportunity to give it another try. I wonder if they have Summer School for Tai Ji. Well - I just have to giggle about this and put my best foot forward. This is such a great opportunity and I am very excited about this new phase of my life.
In 2 days, I will attend my first class at Southwest Acupuncture College. Lo' and behold - that very first class will be Tai Ji. Oh, I'm sure that God is sitting up there having a good laugh about this! How in the world did this happen? I've tried Tai Ji once before and thought I would go crazy! As I was learning before, I just kept thinking...'can we speed this up, I've got things to do!' AND I know that this is kind of defeating the purpose, so now I have the opportunity to give it another try. I wonder if they have Summer School for Tai Ji. Well - I just have to giggle about this and put my best foot forward. This is such a great opportunity and I am very excited about this new phase of my life.
Monday, August 9, 2010
The Beginning of the Journey
As I sit amongst moving boxes, feeling alone...I know that this is all the beginning of my new life. It's early! And I'm sitting here waiting to welcome the sunrise over the mountain. Though I am alone and in a new city, I feel enlivened with all the possibility!
I wrote these sentences a few days ago, before very much of the living room floor could be detected. Now, the apartment is mostly put together. I am back with my "Stuff" and it's beginning to feel like home. I have found the dry cleaners, back road to get down busy streets and seem to have my kitchen functional. I have secured a storage facility AND hauled all the stuff that wouldn't fit in the apartment over there (down 2 flights of stairs at an altitude of over 6,500 feet above sea level, I might add). This counted as a cardio workout for the day - let me just say, I was pooped!
Tonight, I am going to the first class of a three week program in photography. Zia Methodist Church is offering classes with a former CNN photographer. I'm thinking this will be a great way to spend a few Wednesday nights, before classes start at Southwest. Correspondence with SWAC has kicked up - I'M REALLY DOING THIS!!! I REALLY LIVE IN SANTA FE!!! I'M REALLY ABOUT TO BEGIN ACUPUNCTURE SCHOOL. Oh my!
I wrote these sentences a few days ago, before very much of the living room floor could be detected. Now, the apartment is mostly put together. I am back with my "Stuff" and it's beginning to feel like home. I have found the dry cleaners, back road to get down busy streets and seem to have my kitchen functional. I have secured a storage facility AND hauled all the stuff that wouldn't fit in the apartment over there (down 2 flights of stairs at an altitude of over 6,500 feet above sea level, I might add). This counted as a cardio workout for the day - let me just say, I was pooped!
Tonight, I am going to the first class of a three week program in photography. Zia Methodist Church is offering classes with a former CNN photographer. I'm thinking this will be a great way to spend a few Wednesday nights, before classes start at Southwest. Correspondence with SWAC has kicked up - I'M REALLY DOING THIS!!! I REALLY LIVE IN SANTA FE!!! I'M REALLY ABOUT TO BEGIN ACUPUNCTURE SCHOOL. Oh my!
Monday, July 26, 2010
The Hard "Good-Byes"
It's only Monday and I am so ready for this week to be over with. Yesterday was particularly hard as my Dad came to town to go to church with us 'for one last time'. After church, we went for lunch and then said our good-byes on the front step of the restaurant. I was a blubbering idiot and he was trying to be so strong for me. I just remember him holding me, whispering..."It's gonna be okay, it's gonna be okay". And reflecting on this still makes me cry!
My biggest apprehension about this whole move is that I feel like I'm letting people down by leaving. My family, my friends, my clients and my "ministries" at church. I have felt a lot of love in this whole endeavor and it's a great thing! But it is particularly hard when I can feel how tightly people are holding on. It reminds me of Fall, the colors are beautiful and there is a slight change in the weather. With that, leaves start falling and temps drop...things start dying away and then winter comes. But THEN comes glorious spring! If it wasn't for this dying off, we wouldn't have this beautiful spring! Please let the "beautiful spring" in this adventure of my life start soon!
In two more days, I will close up my massage therapy studio and walk away from some pretty incredible people, my clients. In five days, I will move away from two of the most important people of my life, my niece and nephew. In a week and a half, I will voluntarily separate from my beloved spouse as he returns to Iowa for work until he finds something in New Mexico. Please Lord, let this "beautiful spring" start soon!
My biggest apprehension about this whole move is that I feel like I'm letting people down by leaving. My family, my friends, my clients and my "ministries" at church. I have felt a lot of love in this whole endeavor and it's a great thing! But it is particularly hard when I can feel how tightly people are holding on. It reminds me of Fall, the colors are beautiful and there is a slight change in the weather. With that, leaves start falling and temps drop...things start dying away and then winter comes. But THEN comes glorious spring! If it wasn't for this dying off, we wouldn't have this beautiful spring! Please let the "beautiful spring" in this adventure of my life start soon!
In two more days, I will close up my massage therapy studio and walk away from some pretty incredible people, my clients. In five days, I will move away from two of the most important people of my life, my niece and nephew. In a week and a half, I will voluntarily separate from my beloved spouse as he returns to Iowa for work until he finds something in New Mexico. Please Lord, let this "beautiful spring" start soon!
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Reinventing Myself
In about 10 days and 20 some hours, I get to begin the journey of reinventing myself. On July 31st, Roger and I will pull out of hometown Iowa and head to a new life in Santa Fe, New Mexico. How many people have this opportunity to "start over"? I am simply thrilled!
Of course, this is a bittersweet re-invention. I am leaving behind family (particularly a beautiful niece and a loveable nephew); my clients, who have been so faithful to my massage business; my "church family" and many friends. This is the longest we have lived anywhere - and we've never had a network of people in our lives like we do here. So yes, it is bittersweet.
The possibilities are endless! And while I know there will be some limitations on my life due to being in school full-time, it still feels limitless. I can already feel my mind expanding both with the knowledge I will gain in classes but also just an openess of the spirituality of the place. On one of my trips to Santa Fe, a shuttle drive told me that the state motto is "The Land of Enchantment. But really it should be called the 'Land of Entrapment', because once you get here, you can't leave". I believe this to be true. There is something hallowed about that place - and I GET TO LIVE THERE! Bring on all the opportunities and possibilities I can stand - I AM READY!
Of course, this is a bittersweet re-invention. I am leaving behind family (particularly a beautiful niece and a loveable nephew); my clients, who have been so faithful to my massage business; my "church family" and many friends. This is the longest we have lived anywhere - and we've never had a network of people in our lives like we do here. So yes, it is bittersweet.
The possibilities are endless! And while I know there will be some limitations on my life due to being in school full-time, it still feels limitless. I can already feel my mind expanding both with the knowledge I will gain in classes but also just an openess of the spirituality of the place. On one of my trips to Santa Fe, a shuttle drive told me that the state motto is "The Land of Enchantment. But really it should be called the 'Land of Entrapment', because once you get here, you can't leave". I believe this to be true. There is something hallowed about that place - and I GET TO LIVE THERE! Bring on all the opportunities and possibilities I can stand - I AM READY!
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Random Organizing
So how do you take 24 years of marriage and "stuff" from a 4 bedroom house and try to condense that down to fit into a 1 bedroom apartment. Well, believe me that's not easy. We sold our house on June 16th and had an auction the following day. I did not attend the auction as I just couldn't bear to see all my treasures go for pennies on the dollar.
Our stuff has been packed in containers and shipped off, yet I find I still have a bunch of items that I want to take with us. How will I ever fit all of this in the car??
Our stuff has been packed in containers and shipped off, yet I find I still have a bunch of items that I want to take with us. How will I ever fit all of this in the car??
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